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cumgiver
06-06-2009, 09:15 PM
Ok before I start I would like to write a book one day but not exactly sure of my ability as a writer. Then I discovered this great place where I can practice a little bit before I jump into the deep end. So, with that being said and you knowing this is my first "rodeo" please be honest (and kind - I'm sensitive lol) with my work.


Ring......Ring.......Ring.....Rin---"hello? Yeah just a minute. Mike! Phone!" Well that's how it started; the event that led to one of the greatest stories I have had the privilege of experiencing. It was my Junior year of college and my roomate and I were in bed asleep one night when the phone rang. He was closest to the phone so he answered it. After he let me know it was for me I had no idea who it could possibly be this late at night. As I reached over to pick my phone up he says; "It's Vicky". As soon as I heard who it was I started cussing in my head because I really didn't want to wake up and talk to her. Vicky was a girl who went to school with us and, while she was a nice girl, I couldn't really stand her. For some reason she annoyed me......A LOT! To make matters worse she had the hots for me but I couldn't return the feelings for her. I was actually surprised that she would still talk to me after our first time together. She came over to my room and gave me a blowjob but I wouldn't do anything to her in return. She was pissed but I didn't care because I just got my nut off and I didn't like her that much. But for some reason she kept coming back. We had sex one other time in the backseat of my car but I still couldn't stand her.

So here we are, 2 am in the morning and she is calling me out of the blue. I pick the phone up and say; "Hey what's up?" We start into some small talk and I really have no idea what it's about because I'm not really paying attention. All of a sudden she asks me what that noise was and I had no idea what she's talking about. "There it is. That noise. It sounds like a patting noise." Once she said that I knew what she was talking about. As I laid in bed talking to her I pulled my shirt up and was patting my belly button. It was making this noise that she could hear. She asked me what it was and my devious mind went into action. I told her; "I'm jacking off. What you hear is me beating my meat." She didn't believe me but I kept up the charade. "Here, listen, I'm going to put the phone down there so you can hear for yourself" I said to her. I put the phone by my stomach and got into a nice masturbating rythm. When I pulled the phone back up she said; "Oh my! You really are beating off." At this point my mind is going to the dark side and I decided to push it. "Since I'm jacking off why don't you start fingering yourself?" I said to her. Next thing I know she is breating heavy and moaning. I'm not sure if she is being for real or acting like I am. "Are you really fingering yourself? Put the phone down there and let me hear you going in and out of your pussy." I said to her. She agrees and next thing I know I can hear the squishing noise that a pussy makes when it's wet. "Do you believe me now?" I couldn't handle it and was completely turned on now. I told her; "I'm horny as hell. Do you want to fuck?" She agreed and I told her to meet me at my car in a few minutes.

I jump out of bed and put some clothes on and I'm walking out the door when my roomate says; "Atta boy Mike. Go getcha some." Obviously he hadn't went back to sleep and heard my half of the conversation. I go to my car and sitting there for several minutes. I started to think she had backed out when she came up to the door. I let her in and we start driving around trying to find a place where we could be alone. I finally remembered that I had a key to a local motel from my Freshman year when we had to live there after our dorm had caught on fire. We agree to give it a try and drive to the motel but when we get there we are a little scared someone might be in there. So our plan is I would walk up there and open the door quickly to check it out. Vicky would stay in my car ready to drive off in case there was someone there. I walk up to the door and slide the key in very quietly. I turn the knob and throw the door open and peer in and shut the door all in one very quick motion. Only problem is that it was dark and my eyes didn't adjust to the dark at all. I had no idea if anyone was in there. So I tried it again but this time I flicked the lights on and off and shut the door in one quick motion - nobody was in there. I lean over the railing and motion for her to come up.

Once she's in the room we sit down on the bed and start talking. She had her reservations about doing this because she knew I would never make a commitment to her and she had just got engaged to another guy. I knew it wouldn't take much to have her change her mind so I put my hand on her back and start caressing. I'm saying all the right things to make her feel good about herself and bring myself closer and closer to her. I take my hand and go down her back to where the bottom of her shirt was and put my hand underneath it and slid my hand up her bare back. After a few full back caresses I got to her bra clasp. Now I hate to brag but I'm pretty good with bra clasps and I undid hers in one motion with just my right hand. I don't know if it mattered or not but she was now ready to get going. She took her shirt off and without the bra holding her breasts in place they moved around freely; like a bowl full of jello.

We start kissing and our hands are exploring each other bodies as we lay back on the bed. My shirt is now off and my pants are down around my ankles as I try to kick them off with my feet. She is laying on her back and her tits are beautiful laying to each side. Her pants are undone and my fingers are rubbing up and down her pussy lips. "Have you ever done anal?" I asked her although I knew the answer. She had told me once before that she had tried it but didn't like it that much. "Yes but I'm not that fond of doing it" she replied. I had never done anal before and really wanted to try it and I figured this might be my best chance to actually get to do it so I had to work some magic. "If you let me do you in the ass then I will eat you out." I knew this might get her to agree to it since that is what she wanted me to do the night she gave me a blowjob and I didn't reciprocate. Of course if she let me fuck her in the ass first then I wasn't going to eat her out but she didn't have to know that up front. "I will let you fuck me in the ass as long as you eat me out first." DAMN - I guess she isn't that dumb or maybe I am for not thinking of that ahead of time. By this point my cock was rock hard and at full attention and I really wanted to fuck her in the ass so I agreed. Now don't get me wrong; I'm not opposed to eating out girls, and I actually enjoy it, but for some reason I didn't want to eat Vicky out.

I take her pants all the way off and we are both naked on the bed. As she lays on the bed I start to kiss her on the mouth and our tongues are wrestling each other. I move down to her neck as I play with her breasts. I keep going down and with each inch I move I make sure my cock is rubbing against her leg. I spend a couple of minutes licking, kissing and sucking each of her tits until I start moving down her stomach. By this point her legs are as far apart as they can get and that pussy is sitting there waiting. It feels like it does on TV when the background goes dark and there is a spotlight on something in the middle of the screen. That is what I was thinking when I made it to her pussy. I work my was down her lower stomach and when I get to the top of the pussy folds I stop and move to her right leg. I kiss and lick all over the inside of her light until I get to the edge of the pussy lips and then stop and do the same thing to her left leg. By this point she is going crazy and I go for the middle. I take my tongue and run it up and down her outer pussy lips and concentrate on the clit when I'm at the top. I do this for a few minutes and then I spread her lips and dive in with my tongue going as deep as I can get it. As I'm doing this a thought runs through my head; "I've never tasted pussy like this. It's got a different taste than the other girls i've eaten out." Obviously I didn't say this to her or there would go my chance to stick my rock hard cock in her ass but the thought was there. It wasn't a bad taste per se but it was sort of tangy.

After I put the thought out of my head and spend a few minutes eating her pussy I finally want to blow my nut. I stop and get on my knees and tell her to roll over. She does and brings her ass up into the air. I can see it now - her puckered ass waiting for me to fill it with my hard, throbbing cock. I put my dick in her pussy a couple of times to get it nice and wet to help ease it in. I put my cock head on her entrance and ask her if she's ready and she says she is. I start putting pressure on her opening and the head starts to slide in. It's the greatest feeling in the world to have that moist tightness wrapping around the head of my tool. I was in heaven and she was moaning but in a way that assured me she was enjoying. I kept inching farther and farther into her ass. Once I in all the way to the hilt I just sat there to alllow her time to get used to my cock being in her ass. Then I started pullling out almost to the point where my cock came out but before that could happen I slammed my cock back in as hard as I could. Vicky almost squeeled in delight from this move and I knew it was good to go. I pulled in and out as hard as I could and then I would slow it down for a few pumps before I would speed it back up. I alternated this way until I could feel my ball sack starting to tighten up which let me know I was about ready to blow my load. I kept going until I couldn't hold back anymore and let my entire load come shooting out into her ass. By this point I was pretty tired and sweating so I collapsed on top of her and then rolled off to her side on the bed. She laid on her stomach and reached back to grab my cock. She gave it a few strokes to get the left over juice in my cock out like she was milking a cow. We laid there a few minutes with our sweaty bodies on top of each other.

Vicky gets up and goes into the bathroom to clean my cum out of her ass. "You know if you would have wore a condom I would be sucking your cock right now. But since you didn't wear one and your cock has my shit on it I'm not sucking it and I'm not going to let you in my pussy with it either." I honestly didn't care because I got what I wanted by fucking her in the ass but I said; "You know we could take a quick shower in there and get cleaned up and keep at it. You could suck me and I could fuck you and pull out before I came in you." She was standing there naked with her back to me looking over her shoulder and acted like she was thinking about it. While she was thinking I looked down and could see my cum running out of her ass and down her leg. I had my cock in my hand and was stroking it up and down when she said; "No, I think we are done here." I guess that was her way of getting me back for me not reciprocating on the blowjob a couple of months before. I didn't care and actually wanted to get back and go to sleep. While she was in the bathroom I went over to the sink that is on the outside of the bathroom and turned the water on and opened the complimentary soap. I got it wet and lathered it up and cleaned my shit covered cock at the sink. When I finished I went back to the bed and laid there naked.

Vicky came out of the bathroom and comes over and lays on the bed beside me still naked. We start talking and the conversation moved to where we were talking about the phone call earlier that created this whole situation. I asked her what took so long to come out to my car and she said; "Oh that, I was so turned on fingering myself that I decided to finish the job before I came out." I replied; "Did you use something as a dildo?" referring to my thought about the weird taste. Vicky said; "Yeah, I used my bar of soap as a dildo to get me off. Why?" I couldn't believe it and said; "So I was tasting soap when I was eating you out? That explains it because the whole time I was eating you out I kept thinking it tasted funny." She asked me if I was mad and I said; "No I'm not mad but since we are being open and honest here I got something to confess as well. You know when I said I was jacking off? I actually was patting on my stomach absentmindedly and when you asked about it I just said I was jacking off." I thought it was funny and started to laugh but for some reason she didn't see the humor and hit me. We laid there a few more minutes and finally got dressed and went back to campus.

That was the last time we ever did anything.


Ok so there you go - my first story on here. Any comments, suggestions, complaints or whatever will be appreciated.

cumgiver
06-07-2009, 08:55 PM
So nobody has any comments on my story???? Please????

April
06-08-2009, 06:13 PM
Thanks for the hot new addition, and thank you for taking the time to write and share you story with us all.

It was a great first story, and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.

BJ Cortland
06-08-2009, 07:13 PM
Nicely done. One grammatical thing - always start a new paragraph whenever the speaker changes, even if it's just one word. It helps the reader keep track of who's talking. Otherwise, a great first story. Keep writing - you definitely have talent.

cumgiver
06-08-2009, 07:53 PM
Thank you both - it was fun to write and it was actually a true story.

BJ - thanks for the tip. As I was writing it I wasn't comfortable with how the speaking parts were going and that's why I didn't put more. Felt more comfortable keeping it narrative instead of first person. I guess I slept through that day of english in high school. I will definatley work on that.

Thanks again.

Mathilda
06-09-2009, 01:45 AM
Nice work.

Two things to consider:
1. The narrative shifts between present and past tense, which can be somewhat distracting.
2. When describing an event that occurs over a period of time, do not break the immersion of the reader by splitting the story into 'before' and 'after'. In this story that happens during cunnilingus, by stating that it was done for 'a few minutes' before moving on (to anal).

Hope to read more of your work soon.

cumgiver
06-09-2009, 09:20 PM
Thanks Mathilda - I hadn't noticed that. I will definately work on that as well. I guess I slept through two days of English instead of one.

frankjohnmoore
10-16-2009, 03:07 AM
nice work and a good story

carthago
10-21-2009, 11:23 PM
funny story