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View Full Version : Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez part 5



sams_jake
04-09-2010, 09:34 PM
"I'm Pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!" Demi says :Knocked:
"OMFG! CONGRATS!" Selena hugs Demi "Does Joe know?" Selena asks
"Yes I told him just before I called you" "He is sooo happy.. We fucked soo hard after I told him" :icon070:
They talk more and more about the baby :11baby: and Joe... hours and hours talking... :liefde:
They start fucking again! on the table.... :clit: :clit: :clit:
:iconsex-asstoass::iconsex-makeout::iconsex-doubledildo:iconsex-feelup::iconsex-diddle::iconsex-cunnilingus:iconsex-cunnilingus:iconsex-footfetish: an hour later
:iconsex-asstoass::iconsex-makeout::iconsex-doubledildo:iconsex-feelup::iconsex-diddle::iconsex-cunnilingus:iconsex-cunnilingus:iconsex-footfetish:

4 hours later they stop and start just making out :iconsex-makeout: :iconsex-makeout: :iconsex-makeout:

The end for now!


Sorry I know it is really short... but it is all I got right now... I am hitting writers block at the moment... PART 6 WILL BE MUCH BETTER!!! If you look at it in a good way I have a pretty good story right now if you put all the parts together!!

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF MY STORY PART 1-5!!!
FEEDBACK GOOD AND BAD IS GREAT!!

bobmyboy
04-11-2010, 12:09 PM
the story pretty good...but u need some plot and some actual story to it...there needs to be some build up and then the action comes

Saffer
04-11-2010, 12:19 PM
Writing, and reading, is all about feeing imagination. When you write, the reader wants to be able to imagine the scene in his or her mind. The build-up helps feed that imagination...and when the real action starts, the scene is set.

While the pics/avatars of the different acts are cute, they don't feed the imagination. Descriptions of touches...feelings...they'd work better. Also, less is sometimes better. One act, properly described, can be as powerful, if not more powerful, than all the actions you've mentioned above.

Think about when you have sex etc with someone else...you don't just do something, then move on...you enjoy it, savour it. That's how you should write about it.