serious question here ^_^

[Jonny81]

I know that stories are better if they're drawn out but exactly how much drawing should there be? How long should my horny little characters suffer before finally gettin some? Because it feels like the story either jumps too fast or it drags on forever. How do I find that perfect moment? Do I go back in time and start at the beginning- do I start just before the action - do I ignore the fact that the kid is a horny little teenager and his mother is a hot young exhibitionist who hadn't been laid in over a decade? Just how much tension should I throw at them before they give in to natures grand plan?

I posted part one of my original draft only to realize that bits of it felt off. So now I'm going back to try again and hopefully get it right this time and throw in more of Lisa and Cayden's personalities. If anyone here is a literary agent I would be happy to receive some pro bono advice, or an editor, or anyone who is good with proper English grammar.

On a side note - the grandmother and Cayden, should this be a separate story on its own? How they meet, how their relationship evolves, the cooking lessons and cleaning, etc.

I feel there is room for a 3 book series, Lisa's story, Cayden's story, and Jane's story, but should I do it like that or somehow weave them together? Because if I weaved them together, then that would really show their personalities, but it would be a really long story... with multiple pov and I've been told that was just as bad as being too short.

[niteowluk2003]

In Life things develop in their own time; but for me I try to include things like present feelings and a brief note that those feelings run deeper; it could be for example as you say the mother is an exhibitionist so I would include something like this.

As the morning began to fade into the afternoon; Mum could not shake her desire to expose herself once again; she had managed to live with this; no survive with this for the last ten years, having many sexy near misses at being caught but each time the desire to exhibit her body grew stronger, to the point where the desire now was to let her own children (Child) see far more than they should see of a mum.

So without dragging it on for several pages the reader know knows that mum is a serial exhibitionist and the feelings are getting stronger and now only flashing to her own family will ease those desires.

Solved in one forth right sentence. It will come with practise of writing stories; the other thing is as far as the grammar goes; let your story flow through your mind like a film and listen to those characters speaking in your mind (not just in what they are saying but in the way their past, present and character depicts the way they speak). Hope this helps, it has always worked for me.

[niteowluk2003]

In Life things develop in their own time; but for me I try to include things like present feelings and a brief note that those feelings run deeper; it could be for example as you say the mother is an exhibitionist so I would include something like this.

As the morning began to fade into the afternoon; Mum could not shake her desire to expose herself once again; she had managed to live with this; no survive with this for the last ten years, having many sexy near misses at being caught but each time the desire to exhibit her body grew stronger, to the point where the desire now was to let her own children (Child) see far more than they should see of a mum.

So without dragging it on for several pages the reader know knows that mum is a serial exhibitionist and the feelings are getting stronger and now only flashing to her own family will ease those desires.

Solved in one forth right sentence. It will come with practise of writing stories; the other thing is as far as the grammar goes; let your story flow through your mind like a film and listen to those characters speaking in your mind (not just in what they are saying but in the way their past, present and character depicts the way they speak). Hope this helps, it has always worked for me.