This was a nicely done story although maybe just a bit
on the short side.
I think it would really pop a little more by drawing
out the sexual action to convey what it was like
by giving more descriptive accounts.
Stretching it out more to include details that
encompass a bit more or all of the five senses.
Rather than simply say he slid into my married cunt
and fucked me for several minutes then came, you
could expand on that.
How did her pussy or her ass feel? Was it slick, warm,
did is smell of her sex scent, did it it make any sounds
as he thrust into her?
What did his cock feel like? Was it thin, thick, did it
feel tight when inside, did he cum a lot or a little, was
it creamy, watery, frothy? Did his prick pulse or throb
or leak or spray his load out?
Just various factors that might be worth incorporating
in future works to really detail more of what the characters
experience and that goes a long way toward really kicking
a tale up a few notches.
Also if you do use dialogue within your story, it works
well to keep it apart from the text so it stands on its own
and the reader can easily follow who is speaking at a given
Here is an example how it could be laid out;
When he broke the kiss he looked at me and said,
" I sure would love to fuck you."
"Can I come over to your house tomorrow afternoon?"
"Yes! I would like that and will be waiting for you".
The next afternoon while my hubby was at work Jim came
over. When he came in he was carrying a tool box and
said it was so if anyone seen him they would think he was
there to do some work.
I think the inclusion of the captions under the images is
a nice touch and it enhances your story with the addition
of the images quite nicely.
Good work Katie54 as you have a nice touch on things and
I think if you continue to write you'll get more a rhythm going
and will find ways to make each one better and better.
Thanks for a good story and I hope you'll share more