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Casa de Chaos

The weather's perfect for the day...

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John, Martin's oldest and best friend, lost the private war he's fought for most of his life across multiple fronts early this morning.
It was quiet, peaceful, and in the end he wasn't in any pain anymore for whatever reason--the Dr. is of the opinion that as his body slid further and deeper into shock, the side-effects of such blcoked out the pain signals he'd been working against for so long.
In the end, she was right, it was his heart that gave out--it just stopped from the added strain of a serious 'bleeder' in his right lung. She was listening to his heart with a stethoscope when it happened.
It started with a bad bleed in his right lung, and that happened during a prolonged coughing fit yesterday afternoon, and got worse in a hurry.
We all knew what it meant, and honored his requests about dying at home. As per his requests we set up a 'room' on the back deck--rush job, but served well enough, as he wanted to die outside if possible.
I can't find a fault with that--dying in a hospital vs. outdoors with a view of the sky...
Our Dr., also a friend of his, stayed here as part of the watchover, more as a friend than a Dr..

Today, started with perfect 'graveyard-skies' as John used to call them, chill, grey and cloud-thick.

I'm hurt, but Martin is just...well, it's hit him like a mountain was dropped on him.
There's nothing for us to do really, as John had long ago set up and pre-paid his own arrangements. He'd made his bequeathments months ago, so there's really nothing to do even with the short Will he made.
His ashes will be given to the local Pagan community/village for use in their decorative gardens, on the principle that life and beauty can come from death.

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  1. Pale Rider's Avatar
    He's knocking on the sky now and if we are all very quite we can hear him talking to you....((HUG)) to you both as this is always a most trying time for us mere mortals, the ones left behind to pick up the pieces and move onward, forward, as we all must eventually do.....May Peace be Upon You.......
  2. Marlene38EE's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Pale Rider
    He's knocking on the sky now and if we are all very quite we can hear him talking to you....((HUG)) to you both as this is always a most trying time for us mere mortals, the ones left behind to pick up the pieces and move onward, forward, as we all must eventually do.....May Peace be Upon You.......
    Thank-You. (((HUG)))
    He left this world more worried about us than for himself. Typical of him, right to the last. !cool
    He was one of the most interesting Men I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know, and he enjoyed Spirituality, although never gave a glance to religion, as he saw it diametrically opposed to it.
    The Human drive to package and order something raw, natural and wonderful.
    I know he'd appreciate your words and the sentiment behind them, also the pics of 'happy places' you shared on twitter with me.
    Every bit as much as Husband and I do, as well as our girls. Thank-You again for sharing thos pics. :luxhello:
    According to Husband, John was more comfortable and at-home in the deep wilderness than most folks are in their own livingrooms. Doesn't surprise me, that.

    We're moving on, picking up speed as Life will go on whether or not we do, and there's still a world out there to try to save and our lives to be lived.
    If nothing else, we know we're honoring his wishes by doing so, as John was very much of the
    "Grieve, but let it pass when it's time for it to do so and don't cling to it."
    He also didn't leave much for us to pick-up after him...he must have 'felt' the time was coming, as 99% of things needing done after a death, were done already, by him...much in the few days before his last, but also months previous.

    We'll be okay, soon enough. Time...it passes and pain wears away under it like stone under a river.