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Casa de Chaos

Casa de Chaos, islam, Paganism, Burn-Out & 'Rebooting' myself...

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As some of you know, I run 2 blogs dedicated to anti-islamification and militant islam.

It's...draining, dealing with being plugged-into the world overview and all the ugliness, insanity and inHumanity associated with the issue of islam.

It's started to haunt my dreams now, and that is a most UN-welcome intrusion.

I feel like my soul, my spirit is eroding, like steel continually being washed by the ocean's surf. I will not delve into details here, I will not allow that aspect of my life to enter here more than can be avoided. that's why I run those blogs seperately after all.

I think I need a good walkabout away from islam, islamification and all of that utter nonsense. I have islamists hounding me, and that's not an issue as my skin is more than enough to easily deal with such feeble attempts to insult me.

Especially as they're usually barely-coherent blasts that have more in common with an air-horn off an 18-wheeler than language.

I just don't feel...'right'. I don't feel like ME. I cannot describe it better than that, but I suspect i don't need to, it's a pretty universal concept after all and I suspect everyone feels like this now and then.

I do feel a 'responsibility' to keeping up the fight vs. islamification.

BUT...

I'm a Pagan, and a student of Ayn Rand's philosophy, and have taken what I wanted from it to include into myself, what matched and would allow me to build myself upward with. The point of saying that is this; I have to pay some attention to myself, otherwise things will not go in a direction that I want to live.

It's time I went back to writing and my 'Usual' habitual self---a 'reboot' of myself as it were, to get back to being Me, and feeling like the woman I want to be.

I have a good life, and am DAMNED lucky, these are Facts of my life that I recognize readily. I want to explore about Paganism, the Gods & Goddesses, to roam and learn it's ways and history as deeply as I can. I have started playing with an idea on a literary level that delves deeper into Paganism and such.

But things won't be getting boring. :-)

Husband has completed the lengthening of his legbones, and now it's a matter of allowing the new bone to fully consolidate and solidify into mature bone. The field therapy has accomplished some amazing things, and is greatly accelerating the consolidation of the new bone also.

I'll say this, I can't wait to go wardrobe shopping with my Man!!

He's actually just a bit over 6'3, slightly (standing relaxed and in bare feet) but definitely slightly taller than I am. :-D
All the work he's been doing to 'refit' his physical fitness, strength, stamina and all that--it's paid off. No more pain in his legs, he's even stronger than he was pre-surgery, feels overall 'better' and it's even visible in just his overall way of being.
His walk is smoother, no 'hitch' anymore, and his knees no longer make the disturbing 'cracking' sounds anymore, nor does his back.
I have absolutely NO concerns about mine and the Filly's safety when we go out in the future...and anyone stupid enough to try something hostile against us, has less chance of survival than a candleflame in a maxed-out Force 12 hurricane.
Seriously, no joking around here, Martin was really damned dangerous before in terms of being able to fight and protect us girls and now with all the little improvements he's worked on for himself well...anyone trying against us is going to get the consequences they deserve.

So, I'm going to be going back to how my life used to be, and it feels like it was an eternity ago...
SSP, writing, and Researching things for Husband, and Live all around that.
It feels like I've been living life like a 'ghost' for a while, and that's a feeling I'm eager to leave behind!!

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Comments

  1. kaidman's Avatar
    you have been quiet and everytime you were on lately it felt hollow please don't let it build up until you are burned out completely you're an important friend I care for so when you feel troubled just take time out and talk with me I'm always here for my friends and I will listen to all you have to say
  2. ROCKNROLLER's Avatar
    Hi I'm a Pagan witch, and have been ever since I was seventeen, my mum brought me into the old ways during a crisis of faith in my then Christian ways and I've stayed Pagan ever since. For me it covers all the bases.