The reality of rape

[nikky666]

This is my story. It is a true story. It happened to me when I was 19. There is no fantasy in here. It is not meant to be a hot story, and I appologise if the format or spelling is not brilliant compared to some. However my name is not JK Rowling, and all I wish to do is get over the reality of rape compared to fantasy rape. If this story gets across some of the misery, fear and feeling of total lack of self respect that rape brings then it is worth the hour spent telling it.

I was a very shy 19 year old girl, I had a few boyfriends but nothing serious, I would not call myself stunning. I was just a very ordinary plain looking 19 year old. The fact that I was not very outgoing is what lead to my rape. The problem was that I lived my life in internet chatrooms to make up for my lack of confidence. I loved chatting to people and it gave me the feeling that I was in total control of everything I did. How stupid that was.

I admit now that I was stupid. Because I let my guard down and got to the stage of chatting to anyone, including men who I knew nothing about. One in particular seemed so nice. I knew he was older than me. We used to spend hours chatting both in chatrooms and on MSN. The day came when he asked he I fancied meeting up just for a drink. I agreed. At this stage I did the right thing and met him in a popular place in a town centre. I travelled there on the train and he drove there. When I got off the train at first I didn't recognise anyone who fitted his description. The reason was simple, he was so much older than he said he was. He must have been 58 at least. He was a big man at 6ft 2. He was a good foot taller than me, I could imagine in his youth he was probably good looking but now it struck me that he was getting a bit fatter. I was shocked to say the least, but couldn't find a way of telling him to just fuck off. He genuinely seemed pleasent and so I went along with him to a local pub and we had a drink. I feel stupid saying this but I let my guard down again. We spent the best part of the day walking and talking and he told me that he had a caravan just down the coast about 10 miles away. I got the impression he was inviting me back there but I was having none of it.

When it came time for me to get the train home he offered me a lift to the station. I agreed. If only I hadn't. I got into his car and a feeling of vulnerability swept over me. As we set off I noticed he was heading the wrong way, I told him this and he said "Theres plenty of time and other trains, why dont we go to my caravan first for another drink" A sinking feeling began to form in the pit of my stomach. I was trying to make sense of this but at the same time felt I could still control the situation.

Then the bombshell came "Why dont we make love when we get there" he said. I couldn't take this in, I went very quite and remember saying in a quite voice "I dont want to, I just want to go home. He just continued chatting like everything was normal. My head was gone by now. I began to look for a way out of this. I opened the car door as we slowed for a corner. He reached over and grabbed the handle slamming it shut again. " What the fucking hell are you doing you stupid little bitch" he screamed at me. "Sorry, sorry I said. This really frightened me. This was the first time in my life I became really frightened of a man. I had never really been the victim of any violent act before. Sure I had scrapes in the school playground. But this man mean't business. I knew then he would hurt me if needed. Fear overwhelmed me and I just sat the rest of the journey looking down at the floor.

We pulled up at a caravan park. There was about 30 caravans but the site was empty and closed for the winter. The light was fading by now as well. Dont you get out before me he yelled. He walked around to my side of the car and opened the door. "Get out" he ordered. He grabbed my arm and lifted it up so I was being frogmarched. He opened the caravan door and dragged me in. The attack started straight away. I was pushed onto a seating area and he started to unbutton my blouse. "No please" I was saying, I dont want to do this. He completely ignored me and continued, his frustration got the better of him and the last buttons were ripped off. The strangest fear came over me. It sounds stupid but I was frightened that he would rip all my clothes and I would have nothing left to wear. Now that thought now freaks me out. I asked him if I could undress and he agreed. I took off my pants, bra and knickers and just lay there cold, naked and terrified. He then grabbed me again and dragged me to this little bedroom in the caravan and pushed me onto the bed. I lay there curled up as he began to strip off. I remember watching him with hatred, When he had took his trousers off I remember looking at him in just his underpants and thinking, "He wears underpants like what my dad wears" The reality that I was going to be raped by a man older than my dad hit home. I began to cry.

He took off his undies and stood in front of me stroking his cock. He wasn't even fully erect which confused me. If he wasnt erect and turned on why was he doing this? He began making disgusting "Oh yea" noises as he looked down at me. "Spread yourself" he demanded, "show your cunt" He got on the bed and forced open my legs, I could feel him fumbling with his cock and then felt him enter. I felt quite soft because he wasnt fully erect. Again I began to cry as the reality hit home. The bastard began to rape me making disgusting panting and heavy breathing noises. He put his full weight on me and began to thrust in really hard thrusts. He would push up me and then hold it still for a second before pulling down and pushing up hard again. It seemed to me he was trying to hurt my vagina. This went on for a good twenty minutes. It seemed like a lifetime. I was totaly detatched and staring up at the ceiling wishing it would end. In the background I could hear the bed creak with his thrusting but I was out of it.

Suddenly he stopped and withdrew. I knew he hadn't cum because the telltale pre cum thrusts that men do were missing. He opened a bedside cabinet draw and took out a pencil torch. He then lifted up my legs and inserted the torch into my anus. It didnt hurt because it wasnt thick, but the shock was not knowing what his intentions were. During my rape the thought that he might assault me up my anus never crossed my mind. Now my head was full of the idea that I might be raped in my backpassage.Again I cried.

He spent a few minutes pushing this pencil torch up and down my anus, then he pushed it fully up, rolled me over and made me get on all fours, I was then raped from behind. This really hurt. He was pushing deep and hitting my cervix. It felt like an electric shock. He was talking disgusting. Asking if I was enjoying being fucked by a daddy. It made my skin crawl. Thankfully this didnt last long because he cum at this stage. As he pulled out I reached back to remove the torch but he stopped me. Leave it in he ordered. He then made me sit on the bed with this pencil torched pushed right up my anus whilst he talked to me. "It wasn't over too quick was it" he said. "No" I replied desperate to make him happy so I could go. Get dressed he said and I will drive you to the station. This bastard made me put on my knickers and pants with this pencil still up my arse. He drove me to the station as if nothing had happened with it still inside me. That thought now really freaks me out. I still cannot work out why. I think maybe he was trying to make it so humiliating that I would be ashamed to report it. It worked. I had to rush to the toilets on the train to remove that pencil torch from my backpassage.

Now this is the reality of rape. Humiliation, violence and a loss of respect

[April]

I am sorry to read that you had to experience that, but I wanted to thank you for sharing your story with us and Welcome you to SSP.

[crzy67]

First Nikky, let me say that I am truly sorry for what happen to you. Things like that should never be allowed to ever happen. I do not care too much for stories about rape. That goes for fetishes, vids, and photos depicting simulated rapes. I have had two girlfriends that were raped in the past. They were never the same, and both have trust issues that have damaged any chance to ever having a good healthy relationship. Rape goes much deeper then most think. It destroys the soul. I know that there are some into this, but for me it's not my thing. I just wish that some of those that are into rape can understand all the issues with it.

[nikky666]

First Nikky, let me say that I am truly sorry for what happen to you. Things like that should never be allowed to ever happen. I do not care too much for stories about rape. That goes for fetishes, vids, and photos depicting simulated rapes. I have had two girlfriends that were raped in the past. They were never the same, and both have trust issues that have damaged any chance to ever having a good healthy relationship. Rape goes much deeper then most think. It destroys the soul. I know that there are some into this, but for me it's not my thing. I just wish that some of those that are into rape can understand all the issues with it.

Thank you for your words of comfort. You know there are very, very few sites on the internet where victims of rape can let it be known what this vile act does to a person. I am not stupid not to know that some people get turned on by the fantasy. Fantasy is just that, what is alarming though is when people cannot work out the difference. Take the story titled Lindas rape. Some people think that was a true story. I ask you. A true story where the victim begins to enjoy being violated. Now that is frightening.

[frankjohnmoore]

sad story, hope it make you feel better by telling it,, thanks

[Saffer]

I did not enjoy reading this, but I am glad I did. It's stories like this that remind me, us, to always be respectful of our partners, and that things should always be natural, and not forced.

I'm sorry that you had to go through what you did. You should know, it was absolutely nothing you did which caused this bastard to do what he did to you. It seems you are on the road to confronting your ordeal, and I think it's very brave of you. Perhaps, one day in the future, you will be able to lay a charge against this bastard, and stop him doing to others what he did to you.

[missingrandy]

hope posting helps you

[Ashley]

I hope your doing alright now

[Steve309]

I am sorry that you had to endue that. I hope that you will be able to put that experience behind you.

[Barek]

I have sisters,nieces,women friends,all the girls I've loved in my life. Reading your story made me so frightened for all of them. You're so right about people not taking the real consequences of rape into account when they write stories about it. And,I also agree with you about stories where women are being raped,and they start to like it.That just proves some writers just don't get it. I'm so sorry you had to go through something this awful.And thanks for having the courage to set the record straight.

[Natsu]

dam i'm sorry gal. If your interested in revenge my dad runs security firm give me a name and you'll find his death in the paper in a week. P.S. my dad is in his 80's and is an ex-soilder