The text below is true and factual narrative. It was written in 2007. As a retired clinical psychologist I received this letter from a former client. I stumbled across it while searching for another file. I had asked this lady to write me a “short” letter. After reading it I found it more of a chapter for a book. Please excuse her spelling, and punctuation. You may likewise find hints of an Appalachian dialect. I thought the readers here might enjoy.

The text below is true and factual narrative. It was written in 2007. As a retired clinical psychologist I received this letter from a former client. I stumbled across it while searching for another file. I had asked this lady to write me a “short” letter. After reading it I found it more of a chapter for a book. Please excuse her spelling, and punctuation. You may likewise find hints of an Appalachian dialect. I thought the readers here might enjoy.

As counselor for victims of domestic violence and trauma . I was assigned to the mother. I would casually talk to the daughter and she would often follow me to my car where we would talk. She said she liked the fact I did not judge her. I did try to get her out of the situation, but ethically my hands we tied.

Well lets do this. You are probably right. I need to let out my anger. Don’t share this with anyone cause you are the only have told this to. Growing up starting when I was12 I was raped many times. What makes it so bad it was my father that did it.

It was not until I was a teenager that I understood what he was doing was wrong. Looking back I should have know that early on thing wernt right. I had my first period when I was 10. By then Mommy had told me about the birds and bees. I also new how to make babies. As long as I can remember Daddy would come in the bathroom when I was taking a shower. When I was 9 there were 2 times when he got in the shower with me. It was not unusual to see him naked, cause he would walk around the house without any clothes. I had seen his dick many times before, but never that close up. This time his dick was stiff. He told me that I should let him soap me up. I gave him the bar of soap and he rubbed it all over me. He even reached between my legs. I felt uncomfortable. He then ask me if I would wash him off. I did not touch his privates, but he insisted it was ok. He started to moan as I soaped up his dick. He said it felt good.

About the same time I was having bad dreams at nite. Mommy or Daddy would come in to my room and talk until I could not keep my open. One night Daddy came in when I was having a very bad dream and sat on the side of my bed. He rubbed my chest. I told him that it was relaxing. He said he could relax me even more. He put his hand down my pajamas. It kind of scared me, but I let him do it. Eventually he put his finger in my clit. He said just relax. After a while it really did feel good. Anyway I don’t remembe when he quit, but I must have gone to sleep. From then on when mommy was not around he would feel between my legs. Sometimes even when I resisted he would pull my underware down and put his finger in me.

I am sure mommy figured out what was going on. I had just turned 12. I was further developed than other girls in my class. I had tits and hair on my pussy. She took me to the doctors office, and they put me on birth control pills. In looking back it was a good idea. Daddy was getting more agressive. Sometimes he would put on sex porn on his computer and have me watch. He said it was a good education for me. Some of the stuff was realy gross. He also told me if I wanted to masturbate it was ok.

I told Mommy about what Daddy was doing. She told me he beats on her whenever she tries to
get him to stop. She said don’t rock the boat. She reminded me of all the things he provided us with. We had a really nice house and he would buy me just about anything I wanted.

One day I had just got home from school and walked in the house. Daddy was sitting in his favorite chair watch porn on the TV. I only glanced and it looked like he was masturbating I went straight to my bedroom to change cloths. I went to a Catholic school and we have to ware uniforms. So Mom did not have to do more laundry, I would change into something more casual.

Daddy came in without knocking. I was standing there only in my panties and bra on. He came at me. He took my panties off and pushed me on the bed. He then got on top of me spreading my legs. I knew it was about to happen to me. He pushed his dick in my vagina and F me. I was already crying and saying no no stop no. It hurt, but I was more upset that I was being raped.

That was only the first time. For the next three and a half years he F me at least 4 times a week. I couldn’t wait until my period would start. He would not come near me for that week. He used to tell Mommy that I was on the rag. Every day when I came home from school I new what he was doing to do to me. I begged her to tell the police, but she said he had too much control over us. When ever I said I was going to tell on him. Whenever we would go to the mall he would spend at least $200 on clothes or whatever I wanted. He would say you take care of Daddy and Daddy will take care of you?

When I was 15 I decided I wasn’t going to take it any longer. He did cut back to F me only once or twice a week. I kept pleading with Mom to do something but she never did. On my 16th birthday Daddy gave me a new car. That was great but I realized it was never going to make up for what for F me for the last 4 years.

The next time he F me, I lied to him and said I had gone to the hospital and had then do a rape test. I said they got you DNA from your cum that was in me. Today was the last time you are ever going to F me. It worked. I have moved on now and haven’t talked to him in over 5 years.

I want you to know just how much your advise has helped me over the years. I think I was only 14 or 15 when I first met you. You were right. By writing you this letter and letting it all out, I truly do think I can put it all behind me. I was keeping it bottled up and it was tormenting me.
I can not thank you enough.