Chatting with you, the other day reminded me of the
times I would pull into different ports here stateside
and go out and get me a hotel for the day/night. I
always thought that it was too dangerous to just go
out and try to meet someone for a quickee when I
pulled into different ports. I would always get a
hotel near a shopping complex that I would be able to
walk to, so I could buy some stuff for my
afternoon/evening/night of fun…I might have been by
myself, but I always made the best of my time   LOL.
Here is a story about what I would usually do. I would
go by a drugstore and get a small bottle of baby
shampoo, a hot water bottle/enema kit, a bottle of
some baby new tooth number (numzzzit LOL), a pack of
good ladies disposable razors. I would then go to the
supermarket to finish my shopping. I would grab some
beer,,,and also a couple of sixpacks of interesting
shapped beer in bottles,,,Michalobs are always
fun,…the way they are shaped, and of course a slim
bottle of wine. run through the veggie department and
grab some bananas, cumberbers, a couple of egg
plants,,,and maybe a long necked zucchini or two. The
last thing on my list was a small can of Crisco of
course, being the anal slut that I am, I always needed
the best when it came to a standby container of
lube..LOL. I always like the feeling I get buying all
of this stuff in a store, knowing what I am going to
be doing with it,,,in just a little while.  Well this
time I was down in Miami Fl and got a place around
11am, and got back to the room around 12:30. I had
already ate breakfast and started out by taking a long
hot shower. I got out of the shower and sat down on a
towel, and started carefully shaving the area around
my asshole. After shaving the bottom area, around my
balls and the sides, I jumped back in the shower and
soaped up my ass and shaved the upper parts around my
asshole by feel. I opened up my 2nd beer, taking the
first one and putting it in hot water so I could peel
the labels off later. I filled up the enema bag, put a
squirt of baby shampoo in it, and hung it on one of
the close hangers, and kneeled down on the floor with
my ass in the air, and opened up the nozzle and let
the 2 quarts of soapy water fill up my behind. After
taking all of it up my ass, I sat around and watched
tv for around 15/20 minutes,,,until I couldn’t hold it
in anymore, and went to the bathroom and let loose the
first bag of water. I continued this process until I
had given myself 6 or 7 enemas, and was clean as a
whistle. After the 4th one, I would work one of the
cucumbers or bananas up into my ass to start to get me
opened up and to make sure, I was empting myself out
each time. By the time I could be slamming 3 fingers
in and out of my ass or an 8” banana…and then a 10/12
zucanni…I could put 2 or 3 quarts of water up my ass,
and expell damn near all of it at one time. By this
time I would be working on a 12 pack,,,and also had
taken several double shots of Tequila and was starting
to get that warm horny feeling that I always get when
I start getting a decent buzz. When I was all clean
and starting to get open, I would start working the
numbzzzit up into and around my asshole…it stings at
first,,,but then it numbs the opening also. I would
also take a slim carrot (I would always buy a bag of
carrots) and dab some of the numbzzzit on it several
times and put it my mouth and push it to the back of
my throat, and coat the back of my throat with it. I
would start working one of the bigger and longer
veggies into myself,,,and once it was feeling me
inside, I would start sucking on a carrot wishing it
was a hot cock, and sticking it futher and futher into
my mouth, until it was past the back of my mouth and
into my throat…the first few times was always rough
but after a bit I could overcome the gag reflex along
with the numbzzit and start pushing the small carrot
down my throat. I would have tears streaming down my
cheeks, and at least 4” of carrot down my throat,
slobber running down my chin,,,and me just humping up
and down on a veggie. Holding the carrot in one hand,
I would beat myself off with the other. After I came,
I would lick and suck my cum from my
fingers,,,thinking of the fun that I was going to have
over the next several hours. I was laying around just
after this,,,watching tv, relaxing…every now and then
sticking a couple of fingers up in my ass,,when I had
an idea,,,I had walked by a bowling alley over by the
store…Now, I am half buzzed,,horny ass hell and really
hot to trot. I went to the bowling alley and told the
person by the counter that one of my shipmates was
getting ready to retire and that he was an avid bowler
and that I wanted a pin so, I could cut it in half and
make a nice plaque for him…He made a call and a guy,
brought me 2 used pins that they had in the back…wooo
hooooo. I got back to the room, and started working
more numbzzit into me, and started screwing myself
with bigger veggies, and then a beer bottle. I also
got to the point that I could take a banana down my
throat with ease..and was starting to look at a 12”
or so zucanni,,,and wondering how much of it I could
take down my throat. I ended up riding the bowling
pin, and had about 7” of the zucannni jammed down my
throat when I came the 2nd time. By the time I had
worked myself up to screwing myself with an
eggplant,,I was totally open on both ends…I just
wished it was the real thing. I came at least 7 times
that afternoon and night,,,and finished up alternating
from 4 finges and a thumb jammed up my ass, to an
eggplant or the bowing pin jammed up my ass. I got so
opened up that I was able to take a michalob bottle
large end first….stick it up my ass, walk around with
it inside of me, bend over the couch arm, with my ass
in the air, reach back and open it up,,,and pour
myself a glass of beer…missed more than anything
LOL…but I thought how nice it would be for someone to
crack it open and empty it into a beer glass to drink.
This time I finished up in the shower, the bowling pin
half way up inside of me,,,I had had to piss for about
an hour and with my legs bent back over my head, let
loose all over my face and chest, drinking some of my
piss, and then beating myself off one last time onto
my face…It made for a nice sound sleep at night!!!  
Hope you enjoy reading this