Chunks
Member Since October 19, 2009
Brother & Sister: Part 1
by
world_refugee
5384 days ago
Chunks
5856 days ago
world_refugee
5384 days ago
Chunks
5856 days ago
-
6
+
Most people here don't spend nearly enough time on setup, letting us get to know and care about the characters. Your first chapter is all pretty much setup, which is great. Still feels like you're rushing it in places, though. I'm looking forward to a
Matt and Suze... and Kerry: Part 3
by
Chunks
Chunks
Glad you enjoyed them. Sorry that the paragraph spacing didn't come through for some reason; the lack of blank lines between paragraphs makes for tougher reading.
These are fun to write...
These are fun to write...